one year

I made it. And tonight I told my baby that we probably won't be nursing anymore. I thought I'd been looking forward to this for . . . 9 or 10 months, but it's really sad to say goodbye. I think mostly because that was the only time in the whole day my baby would be still and just cuddle with me. I don't know what bedtime will be like tomorrow. I've so looked forward to the day when I could leave that task to Neal, or *gasp* a babysitter. Now, I'm not so sure. It's always been something that has been just mine. Not selfishly - although, now I'm feeling a bit selfish. I don't want to share him. I want him to be my baby and need me forever.

I hate to use the phrase "I can't believe my baby is one," because everyone has used it, and I'm personally sick of it, but it's true. He really did his growing up 3 months ago when he decided to start walking. But when I look at him, the only "baby" left in him is that hair. (I'm totally wussing out, by the way, and who knows when I'll be able to bring myself to have it cut.) I will, of course, have to keep calling him "baby" because I insist on being in denial.

His birthday parties will be this next week, so we'll post cake pictures later. Thanks to my sister for letting us come to her house for his real birthday (which I very nearly forgot).